Errrr
I play in a real band.. A Post hardcore technical pop alternative band, and.. Well I'm not dissing you.. Just when I write songs I like for them to.. Pop, you know? And this just.. Didn't. I was all just pretty gummed together. Make sure you make it stand out. The only part that really did stand out was after that... Um.. what happened at 2:38? I had to turn my speakers like.. up 5 clicks to hear it.. And then the crazy guitar was like BAM and I was like D:
Make sure.. MAKE SURE You equalize your sound. DO that. Your to do list.
1. No gummyness
2. Make more things stand out.. like... A good type of "BAM".
3. try and make it sound less generic. Make it unique.
4. Alternate drumbeats a bit better
5. Add bass
6. Have fun with it. It doesn't sound like you were having as much fun as you should. Let the music flow out of you. Muted notes are fun, but don't overdo them. Play with your heart not you mind.
There's my short review ;P
(good job nevertheless)
-Daniel